January 7, 2016 Surprises It's been a crazy ride of highs and lows. I've begun the slow process of entering the world again. Still find myself chocking up if someone asks how I'm doing. Sarah has gone out for the evening, I'm going to do a night job in a few hours. I found homes for her dogs. Just can't, and don't want to take care of them alone. It's quiet. The cats are the only ones here with me and the've found their hiding/sleeping places for the evening. Time to think. Too much time really. I cleaned the bathroom today. Seems like a mundane task. Until I started to change towels. I haven't done anything since she left for the hospital, so her towel was still hanging on the towel bar. When I was carrying it to the laundry shoot, I stop in the hallway and put the towel to my face. Then I cried like a baby. It hit me like a shock wave. I could smell her scent on the towel. I don't just miss having her here. It's much more profound than that. I miss seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and even tasting her. Without profanity, the taste of her. Kissing her cheek, the back of her neck, her arm and shoulder. The tast still lingers in my memory. It's a loss that is all consuming. Be aware of ALL that you love. Before it's too late to savor it.