Why the sense of loss? The loss oh why the sense of loss? The loss of a spouse is such a unique thing. Because it's that once in a lifetime experience that exactly half of us have. We have spent a lifetime loving people. The love of parents and siblings is one that is build on the understanding that it's to teach and learn to be independent. A parent beginning by holding their child in their arms, feeding and nourishing them. Then holding their hands, putting the food in front of them, teaching them to feed themselves. Talking to them. Then you begin walking beside them, talking WITH them, teaching them to be independent. Till one day, they give you a hug and a kiss. And walk out the door. Love of friends and family become the same. You visit, help each other solve problems, enjoy the "occasions". Then, with a hug and a kiss, you walk out the door Losing a wife is a total loss. It's not a love you turn from and close the door. It's that one unique love, where you open the door and meet for the rest of your life. Looking back, I see that each of us dedicated ourselves for each other. It was an understanding that that's what we wanted for the rest of our lives, to live and love for each other. The stark reality is one day you discover there's nothing to live for. I realized that one night. Neighbor invited me to dinner. A chance to share with people I love. Enjoyed the "occasion" tremendously. Laughed, cried, then with a hug and a kiss, I walked out the door. I suddenly realized there was no one to go to. I knew I was just going to walk across the street, walk in the door and the only thing greeting me were memories. Memories of seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and yes, even tasting her. Yes, that's how complete the loss is. Down to never having that taste of her on my lips after we've kissed. A loss of every fiber of your being. I eventually went to bed. Well, sort of. I laid down with my cloths on. Couldn't get in bed knowing I wasn't going to be able to hold her and hear her breathing next to me. I urge all of you married couples to do one thing. Each day embrace each other and take that extra moment to experience each other with all your senses. It will be something you can hold in your memory forever, and when one of you goes ahead, there will be that one experience you can go to and live it again and again. It will have been complete.
Screen is all blurry You da man, Tom You have captured the essence of marriage Even in your loss, you are not indeed a blessed man
Wow. After I wash my face, gonna call my wife and tell her how much I love her, and how much she means to me.
Tom, thanks for helping us think about the future and how to make both our present and future better. I want to print your words out and put them somewhere to regularly remind me.
Tom, having been, and still am, where you are I can tell you that I could not have expressed it better. Only one who has experienced the loss of a spouse that was truly your other half and a partner like no one else could be, could hope to understand. Thank you. It's been 6 years since I lost my wife. I will not try to tell you that it gets easier. You will always carry that sense of loss. I can, however, assure you that you will learn how to live with it.