So, unfortunately, I have told people here all about my adultery I was involved in years ago. I was wondering about something regarding it. I remember feeling horrible for what I did. I remember repenting by breaking things off with the other woman. I remember apologizing to my wife for what I did. However, I don’t specifically recall asking for forgiveness from her or from God. I think it’s because, though I felt remorse for what I did and I also didn’t want to keep hurting my wife, I didn’t particularly WANT forgiveness for what I did. I wanted the guilt I was feeling to be my punishment. I figured that my wife and God could go ahead and forgive me if they wanted to, as it was their right. I just didn’t want it. My question is am I REALLY and COMPLETELY forgiven by them if I never WANTED their forgiveness, even though I repented of my sin?
Perhaps, but what I was getting at is that I’m wondering if I’m even forgiven by God since I didn’t specifically ask for any forgiveness from Him. Yes, I felt remorse, and, yes, I repented, by ceasing the adultery, but I didn’t do any of that wanting forgiveness. I just felt horrible for hurting my wife. I didn’t want to keep doing that to her.
Everybody’s free, of course, to chime in with whatever they’d like to say, but I have yet to receive a simple yes or no to the question. If I haven’t specifically asked for forgiveness, even though I’ve repented, am I actually forgiven? I either am or I am not. Which is it?
You (1) felt bad, (2) stopped seeing the other woman, (3) confessed your sin to your wife and God. If that's not repenting and asking forgiveness, I don't know what is. Bluntly: what you're thinking is self-sabotage, another way to despise who you are, now that you (seem to be) feeling better about yourself. Of course, you wanted forgiveness, why lie to yourself?
To me, though, feeling remorse, and even repenting, isn’t the same thing as specifically asking for forgiveness. Yes, they were the “right” things to do, but was it “sufficient” for forgiveness from God? You say that, by doing those things, I wanted forgiveness. But, did I really?
Believe the Scripture, Aaron. Ephesians 1:7–8 (TNIV): In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8that he lavished on us. You have the forgiveness of sins. Now 1 John can make it seem otherwise. 1 John 1:9 (TNIV): If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we don’t confess then, are we not forgiven? Various pastors and theologians make a distinction between union with God and communion with God. I don’t think that’s a bad distinction they make. You retain the former. But the latter is hindered. You committed cosmic treason. When David committed adultery Nathan said he gave the enemies opportunity to blaspheme (NIV says “shown utter contempt for the LORD”). So confess it. Confess not confessing it and move on.