Alright, so where to begin…. I guess I’ll start with the fact that my Dad has Alzheimers related dementia. Plus he’s never been the same since he had his back surgery for spinal stenosis a few years back. Slowly, but surely, both issues were presenting themselves more and more as time passed by. Then on March 3rd., he took a backwards fall down the steps. Amazingly enough, after all was said and done, all he had was a couple of good bruises. 3 days later, he was released from the hospital. The bad part?? Both of his conditions seemed to take a huge leap forward in severity. The next 3 weeks after was an exercise in very limited, if even zero sleep……especially for my Mom being that I work overnights. There were many times where she had to literally lift him up just for him to be able to sit up on the edge of the bed. Many times, she had to help him walk to the bathroom and back, with all his weight on her. Of course, my level of stress shot through the roof too, to the point where I couldn’t sleep also, being that I had become ‘hyper-sensitive” to any and every sound and noise around. Plus the concern of my Mom getting sick or hurting herself. During this short period, at the insistence of their Dr., my Mom called a case worker who helps with (among other things) placing people in care homes. As it were, there was a private adult “Foster” home with a room available just 5 minutes from home. Ironically, the place is run by a person I know through music. Mom and I talked about it, and at my insistence, we agreed to move Dad into the house immediately, despite having to pay up front for 60-90 days until the paperwork for Medicade went through. My thinking the whole time was, “God would not show us or present this opening to us if there wasn’t a way for us to afford it, or without us having some sort of means to move him there”, or “He wouldn’t provide this for us than take it away”. Well, wouldn’t you know it, we found out today that my parents don’t qualify for assistance (something about an issue with a trust they have). What the…………… *sigh* I figured we could survive paying for 2-3 months. This changes everything now doesn’t it??? The funny thing is, despite the fact that I think much of modern Christianity is nothing but a joke, I didn’t ask “Why God?”. While admittedly my faith has diminished a bit over the years, I didn’t lose total faith in God. And while this perhaps dimmed that faith just a tad more, I still find myself wondering “where is He leading us” in this situation. To be honest, I don’t know what to feel. I’m highly disappointed, but still………..I want to believe that He has something for us, a solution for this situation. In spite of how I feel of modern Christianity, I still have to believe prayer works. After all, God DOES exist, right?? So with that, I ask for your prayers if any of you are so inclined. Prayers for what?? I don’t know. He has a plan, right??? I gotta believe that. Well, that’s all for now. I’m still at a loss…………
These are the circumstances where faith is the most difficult; when it's not a question of 'God I believe you exist', but 'God I believe you will act'. There are few things worse than the feeling of belief in God, while all the while nothing seems to go your way, God appears to be silent, and for all the prayers you utter you think you may as well be speaking to an empty room. I'll be praying, and as someone who has years of experience working in care homes, I'd advise not working yourself up over it (get some sleep). Care homes can be depressing, terrible places; I came out traumatised. New residents with alzheimer's find it _extremely_ difficult, and its very easy for them to be taken advantage of, or be abused by other residents, and at best, ignored by the care staff. This may have been a great place for your dad, or you may have averted disaster. Be very careful where you place vulnerable family to be cared for, and trust that God has the best in mind for you and your family. (If you can manage him, do so for as long as possible.)
Hey, LT. My prayers are certainly with you, your mom, and your dad. God's grace for us is not for power to have a life free of harm and difficulty, but that we will be given the strength to be Christlike in the midst of harm and difficulty.
I will be praying this weekend, asking that provision for your Dad's basic needs and safety will continue to be met. Praying also for your Dad's comfort and a lifting of excessive burden from you and your Mom.
No extra flowery words for you. God exists. He’s in control. Praying for you my Internet low end peer/friend.
Hi LT, probably not what you want to hear right now; “You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.” -- Corrie ten Boom
Thanks for the prayers. It appears the main issue is that the house is in a trust my parents have. According to my parents attorney, if my Mom takes the house off the trust, then the Medicade thing should then be ok. We shall see.