Autism | Asperger

Discussion in 'Controversial' started by ProDeo, Dec 30, 2017.

  1. Kierkegaard

    Kierkegaard Life is not a problem to be solved Staff Member

    Not really anything that isn't anecdotal. I have in mind the sort of person that is paralyzed by choice out of fear of offending or hurting those around them, depending on the choice that's made. That produces anxiety generally, and so on from there.
     
  2. Kierkegaard

    Kierkegaard Life is not a problem to be solved Staff Member

    Narcissist, sociopath, your choice. Those are opinions at first blush and I don't blame anyone for forming them, but I also expect them to know better after any period of time with me. Of course, I like playing into the latter from time-to-time to see how other people respond (that people can get so worked up over words is fascinating).

    Ah yes, I have been accused too often of being emotionally dead, of not reacting, or blank-staring after hearing some sort of emotionally charged news. It's not a choice though, 'it' is just not there.

    I learned to just not say anything, so I'm actually very quiet in public, and usually talk with my wife to get her thoughts on what she'd share or not. I was only diagnosed a couple years ago, though, so up until then I undertook the exercise of figuring out how to 'pass', or otherwise manipulate circumstances to fit me (hence, sociopath). As Tango was saying, had I found this out as a child I think it would have done me a great deal of harm. Instead, I was treated as 'normal' and had to figure it all out consciously.
     
  3. ProDeo

    ProDeo What a day for a day dream

    Sure, the match was not fair. But I think you will understand the breakthrough achieved when you realize what has been claimed by Deepmind (Google), that the machine learned itself to play chess from scratch without any form of domain knowledge by just self-play without any human interference. It's real AI. Mind blowing and scary at the same time. I attach 2 beautiful games in PGN.
     

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  4. Kierkegaard

    Kierkegaard Life is not a problem to be solved Staff Member

    Oh, for sure. Skynet is next on Google's agenda.
     
  5. tango

    tango ... and you shall live ... Staff Member

    ... and the sad part of it all is that people who truly are victims get lost among the jostling to be reclassified as a victim of some "ism" or other. Ironically one of the things I've noticed is that the people most in need of help with something are usually the least vocal about it and, conversely, the ones who are the most vocal are usually the least needy.
     
  6. ProDeo

    ProDeo What a day for a day dream

    So now and then I like to release a pilot balloon myself on certain issues to receive feedback but I hope I don't do that too much on people. I remember that you tried that on me at least one time in such a way I (in my naivety) couldn't miss it. And I gave you back what you disliked most and richly deserved, a kiss-smiley. :p

    A total absence? Or are the feelings of understanding, compassion etc. present like with everybody else but the mind blocks? Can't find the right words to say? I am always surprised with those people who can find the right words of comfort in the most tragic situations, the presidents of nations, the pastors at funerals, etc. When something tragic happens I feel the social pressure to respond and I block, can't find words, I want to, but the words won't come, I am just bad in these situations. I have wondered why. Something like that?
     
  7. Kierkegaard

    Kierkegaard Life is not a problem to be solved Staff Member

    All in good fun!

    Either absent or inaccessible, as far as others are concerned. I'll feel it when my parents die, but someone else, or a pet? Nope.
     
  8. ProDeo

    ProDeo What a day for a day dream

    It was of course.
    I get it, actually I don't, but I guess you know what I mean.
     
  9. DaniH

    DaniH You're probably fine.

    I'm so surprised by this. Not.

    Hubby and son are Aspies, and I've gotten pretty good at sniffing you people out. Ha. It's been quite interesting dealing with all the quirks, but understanding what it is and how Aspies think has actually made our lives easier and curbed loads of arguments we used to have before the lightbulbs went on. :)

    Then again I don't view it as a disorder, y'all are just wired differently. Incredibly smart intellectually and ... well, not so much emotionally. Which is fine. You can't dominate everything I'm afraid. That's why God put my Aspie hubby with me, Miss Emo. I might not be Mensa material but I'm pretty with it when it comes to emotional intelligence. So between the two of us, it all works out. I'm learning to be less emotional and more rational, and he's learning to talk about "icky feelings" and understanding them better. Because he does have them, he's just wired differently when it comes to interpreting and expressing them.

    You can't be high empathy in certain job fields because you'd be a mess all the time and couldn't get decisions made. So low empathy isn't necessarily a bad thing. You can still show kindness and consideration to another human being because that's driven by the will, not by the feels. Lack of empathetic feels makes nobody a sociopath; lack of empathetic acts does. Because the conscience and ability to discern right from wrong and make sound moral decisions isn't based on feelings to begin with.
     
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  10. RabbiKnife

    RabbiKnife Open the pod bay door, please HAL.

    It is partially about relationships as well.

    I was estranged from my mother and father for many years before my mother's death. I did not see her or speak to her in the hospital prior to her death, nor did I attend the funeral. I can honestly say that I had absolutely no emotional response to her death at all. Intellectually, I celebrated the fact that she was not longer in pain or suffering from her years of clinical anxiety and depression, but as I had no true relationship with her, there was no emotional response to her death at all.

    Perhaps, as the country song says, "My give a damn is broke."
     
  11. DaniH

    DaniH You're probably fine.

    I felt absolutely nothing when my stepfather died. He was abusive when I was a kid so I put a lot of miles between myself and him after I grew up. After decades of estrangement and no relationship, what emotions was I supposed to have? I felt terrible for my sister though, since that was her dad and she loved him very much and was heartbroken when he died, especially after my mom passing only a few years prior which left her orphaned, and no true family to speak of other than her daughter who's moved out and moved on. I have a huge family this side through my marriage and kids, so I'm good.

    It's 100% about relationships. Although I can fairly easily put myself into someone else's emotional shoes and actually feel their feelings because I have some sort of sensor that allows me to do that. Which means I have to be very clear on boundaries and not take on somebody else's problems as my own (which is fairly easy for me to do) even though I can certainly pray for them as well as help them in other ways when it's feasible for me to do so. I'm a highly empathetic person ... until I see that someone deliberately causes their own repetitive destructive patterns, at which point I leave them to it and move on to more fruitful things. Can't help people that don't want to actually be helped.

    The feeling of grief and loss imply that you had to have something there to lose to begin with. Can't lose what you don't have, eh? Although many people end up grieving the relationship they might have had and the loss they feel by not having had it (especially with familial bonds). Everyone's different, though.
     
  12. ProDeo

    ProDeo What a day for a day dream

    BTW, my wife and I are currently watching the Netflix series "The Bridge". It's a detective with as main character "Saga". She is good in her work as police detective but probably will score 48/50 on the Asperger test. Quite funny and a good well written story also.
     
  13. Kierkegaard

    Kierkegaard Life is not a problem to be solved Staff Member

    Hm, not on UK Netflix. May have to acquire by other means
     

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